lokis_mayhem: (turkey eat steak)
So what am I thankful for? 

I'm thankful that I have a mom who would do anything in the world for me, even now that I'm supposedly all grown up and able to take care of myself. I never had a moment's doubt that I could go to her and ask for help when I needed it. She's always there for us and I'm so damn grateful to her for that!

I'm thankful that I have a brother who's also a friend. He looks out for me and isn't afraid to tell me when I'm fucking up. I may not always listen but I can never say "Well, why didn't you tell me?!" I'm grateful that I can call him and say "Hey, I want to go see this movie but don't want to go by myself. I'll buy tickets if you'll buy dinner and drive" and he goes. I'm grateful that he's there for my kids. He's always ready to step up and rough house with them or sit them down and tell them to knock off the bullshit. I'd take a bullet for him and I'm sure that he'd do the same for me and I'm damn grateful for that!

I'm thankful for my boys - Raven almost wasn't here and that fact scares me every day. I couldn't imagine life without my Raven-Boo. He's so smart and witty and charming and fearless. We share a lot of the same interests and his personality is just so beautiful. Drakey is the most charming, boisterous, adorable child that I've ever had the pleasure to know. He turns those gorgeous brown eyes on me and says "Mommy, I love you!" and I know that I'd give him the world if I could. Regardless of who their fathers are, my children are miracles and I wouldn't trade them for anything! I'm thankful that I'm a mom!

I'm thankful for my pets, each and every one of them. Bellatrix, Galahad, Tristan, Theo, Munchkin, Omen, and Aramis. They give me unconditional loves - no matter how bitchy I'm feeling, they still come running when I come home and jump up in my lap for snuggles and nosies. I'm grateful to have them!

I'm thankful for my job. I bitch about it. Rather a lot, as it happens. However, I'm grateful that I have a job with benefits and steady pay. I'm very lucky and I do not take it for granted. I'm grateful that I was in the right place at the right time and landed on my feet like I did!

I'm thankful for my home. I've never been homeless - I've always had a place to crash, largely thanks to my mom. I don't have to worry about keeping myself and my children warm and safe from the elements. It's not the biggest house in the world or even mine outright. But I'm very grateful to have it!

I'm thankful for my friends, both IRL and on LJ. You guys and girls share snippets of your lives with me and check out what's going on in my life. When I'm down, you lift me up. When I'm sad, you make me smile. When I'm happy, you smile and dance with me. No matter what I need, you're there for me. I'm honored and extremely grateful for you!

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Snurched the topic idea from [livejournal.com profile] therealljidol - might as well post it there :-) Public entry. Comments are screened.
lokis_mayhem: (hello there)
Greetings all! It is once again time to vote for your favorite entries at [community profile] therealljidol. And I seriously need your help cause I got moved up to Tribe 3 and I'm getting spanked! There are a lot of great entries this week and I'd like to direct your attention to some others that deserve your votes:

[profile] lacombe who is still a sexy beast but he has also become a great friend and I'd love to see him get the votes he deserves for his awesome and powerful entry

[personal profile] libra_dragon who is also a good friend and wrote a great entry about a subject near and dear to our parent-hearts: homework

There are a bunch of others I'd like to see get votes: emaline412, monkeysugarmama, dragonfluff, adpaz, puppetmaker40, tulip_in_yellow, and a host of others. 

Voting ends at 1:00 on Monday. I really appreciate all your help!
Here's the link to make it easier:
http://community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/84371.html
lokis_mayhem: (hello there)
Those of you who know me, know that I am not a "currents events" girl. I don't watch the news, I don't read newspapers, I generally don't even pay attention to news feeds when I log into my email. It's not that I don't care about what's happening - I do. It's just that I can't bear to read all the "he killed, she killed, robberies, murders, rapes, child molested, scumsucker gets out of jail to do it all over again" types of stories. It upsets me and I'm high-strung enough. 

The article that I've found for this topic doesn't fall into any of those categories though, unless you have an aversion to energy/resource conservation. I work in the Department of Technology at Appalachian State University and one of our programs is Appropriate Technology. That program, along with the Energy Center here at ASU, is involved in many "green" projects: alternate energy sources, biofuels, recycling and waste management, sustainable energy management, etc. 

"Grandfather Mountain is going green.

Work is currently underway to decrease the energy consumption of the Avery County attraction.

In January, the park’s board of directors commissioned an energy survey by the Appalachian State University Department of Technology. The survey took an inventory of energy consumption and proposed specific solutions for Grandfather Mountain’s green initiative.

The team of professors and graduate students led by Jeff Tiller and Dennis Scanlin presented their findings to the board in August.

Grandfather Mountain president Crae Morton said the team presented dozens of ways to improve the energy efficiency of the park. Several steps have already been taken, with many more in design phases and under construction."
http://www.wataugademocrat.com/2007/1126/grandfathermountain.php

This is an exciting time in the Department, especially in the Appropriate Technology program, because the students worked very hard on this survey project, and it's gratifying to see that their efforts have resulted in change for the better. It's exciting to see that these students actually care about something besides the fact that our football team kicked ass in the Big House earlier this year. They actually care about the world around them and want to make a difference. They go out and they work put in massive amounts of man-hours on these projects, hoping for grants so that they will be able to do more work for the future. Plus, it's great for the Department, as it gets us recognition and gets our name out there to prospective students, prospective faculty, and prospective investors. 
lokis_mayhem: (Default)
 It's once again time to vote for your favorite entries in Round 2 of LJ Idol! So this is me, once again whoring myself for your votes. =) I really appreciate everyone who voted for me in the last poll! If you liked what you read this time around, head on over and vote for me. I'm in Tribe 2 this time. 

There are a lot of great entries this go-round - some will make you laugh, some will make you cry, some will make you scream "Ack! A spider!" 

Here's the linky fot the poll! Thanks again to everyone who voted for me last round!

http://community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/78160.html

lokis_mayhem: (hello there)
Well, now. This is an interesting topic. Certainly it's a 180 from last week's topic. I had to think long and hard about how to phrase this one. Then life got in the way so I just said screw it, type the damn entry and be done with it =)

I'm afraid of many things. I'm afraid of spiders - just the thought of a spider touching me is enough to send me into hysterical fits. I'm afraid of heights - when I was in high school, I couldn't climb to the top of the bleachers for fear I would fall off (or more likely that someone would push me off). I fear death - I fear losing my mom, my brother, or god forbid,  one of my children. I don't think I could survive that kind of loss. I fear flying - actually, I think what I really fear is the plane crashing and me dying a horrible painful death.
I fear something happening to one of my children.

But terror to me says "paralyzing, breath-stealing, agonizing fear". So none of the things I've already listed really cut it. What really terrifies me, bone-deep heart-stopping terrifies me, is the thought of my youngest son somehow ending up in the custody of his father. For this to make sense, you probably need some back-story. 

Phillip (my ex) has issues, to say the least. He's an alcoholic. He has drug dependency issues. He has anger issues. He has issues keeping his mouth shut and his hands to himself. He has a rap sheet as long as I am tall. Granted, I'm short but still, that's one hell of an arrest record. He's violent and he's stupid - two qualities that should never mix. I really think that he is a product of his parents. His mother is a lush - the only time I ever met her, she started drinking in the morning, kept it up all day, and passed out around 6 in a drunken stupor. She used to prop Phillip up in his car seat with a beer. No wonder he's an alcoholic, right? She's also a tramp. Phillip and his sister watched their father shoot their mother's lover in the neck once. I think he was maybe 4 when that happened but I can't recall exactly what he told me. His father has enough guns in his house to invade Cuba. I know. I've seen them. That fact worries me not a little. Phillip's sister actually moved to another part of the state to keep Phillip from moving in with her when he got out of prison the last go-round. 

I haven't let my son spend time at my ex-inlaws in a year. I do let them meet with us at a restaurant so they can at least see Drake. I won't allow them in my home or on my property though. That might seem harsh but to me, it's all about keeping my child safe from harm. That's my job. And I absolutely quake in fear at the thought of Phillip being responsible for Drake's well-being. The very thought of it scares me to the point of nausea. How can anyone who can't stay out of jail long enough to keep a job and maintain a home be responsible for a child? What if I let them take Drake for a weekend and Phillip decides to run off with him? How will I ever get him back? I refuse to take that chance.  I refuse to fail as a mother. I couldn't live with myself if something happens to Drake on my watch.

___________________________________________________________________________

Don't forget to check out the other great entries at [community profile] therealljidol

Also, just to clarify, I do have 2 children but my ex has no claim, blood or otherwise, on my oldest child. I've never allowed Raven to spend time with any of my ex-people without me. 

I apologize that this isn't as well-written as I'd have liked it to be. I'm at work and trying to hurry up and get this entry in before time runs out without anyone catching me. =)
lokis_mayhem: (hello there)

and I made it through to the next round! Woot! That is seriously awesome! I can't believe I got so many votes - I think the final number was 60 which absolutely rocks my socks! So I want to say thank you to all who voted for me. It really means a lot to me. I've met a lot of cool people doing this and

The next topic is what terrifies me, which terrifies me. I have some ideas now - I just have to figure out how to write it without sounding like an idiot. It'll probably be tomorrow before I can get started on that post. I'll sleep on it and see if anything comes to mind.

I've got to go get started on a pic post but I just want to say again: Thank You!

lokis_mayhem: (Default)
This week's topic is a tough one for me. Nothing from my childhood really stands out as spectacular or even all that interesting, to be honest. So I'll tell you about how my brother, Scotty, and I became friends.

I'm 3 years older than he is and it seemed from the beginning that we were destined to not get along. Just a few weeks after he was born, my mom decided to have a yard sale to get rid of some of the clutter before we moved into a bigger house. For some reason, she had decided to sell my little plastic grocery store/kitchenware set (you know, little pots, pans, groceries, etc., all Barbie-accessory-sized). Naturally, I blamed my little brother for this atrocity so I tried to sell him to another little girl for a quarter. I figured that if she bought him, she couldn't afford my toys. Seemed reasonable to me but my mom was pissed! I got banished into the house and spent the rest of the day tearing toilet paper into little strips and dropping them into the toilet. And then trying to flush the evidence. I'll admit that wasn't one of my brighter ideas. 

Anyway, Scotty and I fought like hell for years! I stomped on his Knight Rider Kit car and destroyed it, he found my diary and quoted it at me, I hit him in the knee with a baseball bat, he threw steak knives at me. He stole my hair brush and locked himself in his room so I decided to kick the door in and go after it. I had this theory that it would work just like it does on tv - you kick in the general region of the doorknob, the door flies open, you get your hairbrush back. Simple. Yeah, not so much. My aim sucks now and it sucked then - I missed the doorknob but manged to kick in the entire bottom half of the door. Good times when my parents came home. He paid me back for that one by throwing the tv remote at me and hitting me in the eyebrow - I still have a dent there where it hit, I swear. 

We drove my poor mom crazy. She swore that some day I'd appreciate having each other and she wished that we'd stop fighting. Yeah right. 

Until my brother hit high school. We grew up (and still live in, in fact) a small town. There were 3 high schools in the county at the time, housing grades 7 through 12. They've since been consolidated and we have a more typical division of grades. Once I'd left grade school I didn't have to deal with Scotty much, just at home. Even when he was at the same school, upperclassmen were strictly forbidden to go anywhere near the 7th and 8th grade halls. That suited me just fine. But when he hit his freshman year, I was a senior. So there we were, roaming the same halls. 

The first day of class, I wandered to the cafeteria at lunch time and grabbed my usual table with my friends. I got through the line and wandered back over to our table. I looked over and saw my brother sitting in the hall with his tea and cookies. No problem really, except that he was sitting at the row of lockers where the jocks habitually hung out at lunch. I just knew this wasn't going to go well. I could just see it in my head: the jocks would come over and razz the non-jock freshman and I'd have to break bat on the football team (I would've tried anyway. It's the thought that counts and all that. I did manage to stuff one of them in a locker one time but that's a story for a different time). The coach wouldn't like that at all. So I walked down the hall and told Scotty that he should really come sit at our table to eat his lunch. He argued with me (typical brother - you try to save his ass and he gives you lip about it); said he was only going to eat his cookies and drink his tea and then go sneak a smoke out behind the building with his friends. But I insisted and prodded until he gave in. He wasn't at our table more than 10 minutes but I felt like my job was done. 

I had band practice that night so I really didn't think much more about it until I got home. Mom was on the porch waiting on me when I pulled into the drive. She said something to the effect of "Your brother told me an interesting story today." I sat down with her and said "What?" She said "He had the most shell-shocked look on his face when he got home so I asked him what was wrong. He said 'Mom, you won't believe it but Amy actually insisted that I sit with her at lunch.' Is that true?" So I explained my reasons to her. basically ending with "He's my brother - I have the blood rights to pick on him all I want to but no one else does." 

Somehow, from that day on, we were friends. He sat with me and my friends every day at lunch. I started driving him home from school without being bribed to. I learned to appreciate his music and he stopped stealing my diary. Next thing we knew, we were working together and going to concerts together. We still give each other hell from time to time and we never hesitate to curse each other out when one of us needs it. But I've always got his back and I know that he does the same for me. We never really talk about it but we both remember the day that everything changed for us. 

I guess my mom was right. But please don't tell her - she'll never let me live it down! =)
lokis_mayhem: (hello there)
So you want to know a little bit about me huh? Traditionally, I suck out loud at these things but let's give it a try anyway. I promise that there won't be a pop quiz at the end of class =) Actually, this works out nicely since I've added some new friends lately and wouldn't object to more and this will cut out the explaining who and what I'm talking about later on. Sweet!

I'm about to turn 30 in a few months (February, which gives me something to look forward to that month and also makes me a Pisces, if you're interested), which worries me to some degree, but only because it's kinda wiggy to leave your twenties behind. My brother has promised me a black Grim Reaper cake, which I think will be just awesome so I'm really looking forward to that part of it. For all intents and purposes, I'm a widow - I lost my fiance to brain cancer 15 months ago. He was my husband in practice if not by law so "widow" is the classification that seems to fit best. We would've been married this past Spring but cancer had plagues him most of his adult life (3 different types of cancer, in fact) and was just bound and determined to have him. I just couldn't fight that and neither could he. I also have an ex-husband - we divorced due to religious differences: he thought he was a god and I disagreed. It was not an amicable divorce and if you hear me talk about him, I generally refer to him as His Stupidity. But enough about that. I have 2 kids, both boys, and they are an amazing source of alternating pride and gray hair. My oldest's fondest wish is to drop out of school and play video games all day (he's 9) and my youngest has ADHD (he's 5). I love them to distraction =)

It took me a while to decide what I wanted to do when I grew up. I majored in photography right out of high school - had a great time, met a lot of awesome people, but found out (many thousands of dollars later) that I don't have the talent to make it as a professional. So it's just a hobby now, one that I enjoy but don't do nearly enough of. I attempted to major in nursing but didn't have the time to really commit to the program or to the waiting list. So I decided to try for Medical Office Administration and succeeded. I worked in a surgeon's office for a while and hated it with a passion. When your password to get into your computer at work is "Ifuckinghatemyjob", yeah, there are some issues that need to be addressed. I have done a lot of things: many (too many) restaurants, machine operator at Black and Decker, photo lab tech, gas station cashier, daycare cook/assistant. Now I'm a Program Assistant at Appalachian State University and love it there. It's an interesting job - rarely a dull moment - and I usually have some time for LJ, which is nice.

I love movies and books and have a massive collection of both. My fondest wish is to have a house with a huge library and entertainment room so I can fill them both =) I am a huge Harry Potter fan and love to tell people what made me start reading the books in the first place. For a while, every time I picked up a magazine or Reader's Digest, it was filled with letters about how Harry Potter was awful and exposing children to Satan and how JK Rowling should be dragged out in the street and shot. I decided that I just had to see what the fuss was all about so I picked up a copy of Sorcerer's Stone. I fell in love with the story and joined the world-wide hordes of rabid HP fans. So, in essence, the religious bashing sent JK Rowling an avid reader who spends lots of money on the HP stuff. I find it wonderfully ironic, don't you? I'm also a huge fan of Babylon 5 (had a serious crush on Garibaldi for a while), Buffy, Charmed, and all manner of other fandoms. I haven't written any fanfic yet but it's only a matter of time, I'm sure. I have a great story idea involving Neville...but that's for another time and place. 

Let's see, what else about me is even remotely interesting? I can't swim - never learned, doubt I ever will. I can't stand to get water in my ears - it just feels ooky to me. I was a band geek in high school. I played the drums, though I doubt that I could do it now. We did have band camp but if anything happened the way the movie portrays it, it was kept well-hidden from me. I slip in and out of accents very easily. If I spend any time at all with you, I can pick up your accent and manner of speech and will slip in and out of it without even noticing until someone points it out to me. I've signed up to do NaNoWriMo in November as well as LJ Idol, which just goes to prove that I have in fact taken leave of my senses. Hopefully it's temporary. It might turn out to be a good way to make some new friends though, which is always a plus.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little foray into the life of me. =)

Oh, and one more thing: I'm a bit wordy.
lokis_mayhem: (Default)
Thanks to libra_dragon for the idea. =) 

So I guess I'll be doing the LJ Idol thing - could be fun, could be crazy, who knows =) 

 

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